Furious.

It was Sporty's first day of school. I have been thinking about it sinec he was born, since he is from and Anglophone home, his french is definitely lacking. Not an easy start when you are in a french only public school. I am not like other families who have disciplined themselves to only speak french and the other english. I am filled with regret as he looked a bit stunned the entire time, not having a clue what was going on, immersed in french with peers and adults he cannot communicate with.

Since now, I have had the idealistic idea that by Christmas he will be fluent or at least at ease in french, but it a lot harder than I thought. Tomorrow is the first day without me and I just want to hold his hand the whole time.

His teacher came to greet him after explaining the schedules, rules to parents. I was furious that the teacher just wrote him off as 'shy' and continued to speak as if he were not there. I was so sad when he almost cried after she spoke to him, and he asked many times if he could leave.

I am passionate about 'changing the world', about being where real people are, being open to new people and helping where I can, but I admit that today I feel overwhelmed and not up for battle at all.

I am struggling with being a 'bad parent' for not seeking out 'the best school', or even a private school instead of the local public school. Change seems impossible when I am frustrated.

Another parent, confided in me that she is not sure that she made the right decision, that she is not impressed with the school, the teacher, or the welcome.

Great, I thought. My one friend who thinks like I do, thinks like I do.

Day one, I am furious. My heart wants to yell at this teacher for such a poor try. But deep down, I still know that God can change anything with prayer, with action, with faith.

Watch out school, you are being prayed for. Sporty, you can do it, you can learn and be a great man of God as you grow and mature. Heart, lets start the roller coaster of watching your first born start the education system. Jesus, you are in control, take the reins, cause I will be homeschooling in a cave in two seconds if you don't.